Smithwick’s Red Ale (4.5%)

If right around now you are finding yourself thinking, ‘Smithwick’s? They still make that?,’ then join the crowd. I honestly have not so much as thought seriously about Smithwick’s for nigh on fifteen years or more, probably more, and was frankly surprised that it was featured for St. Patrick’s Day in a promotional missive I saw somewhere. But yes, Guinness, aka Diageo, still makes the stuff, although the jury is out on how many people actually drink it.

Still, once upon a time Smithwick’s was a serious beer, one spoken of with a certain amount of reverence. Because, you see, before Kilkenny came along in all its nitrogenated glory, and after Coors had removed the last vestiges of character from Killian’s Irish Red, Smithwick’s was more-or-less the definitive Irish ale, amber of hue with a big maltiness accentuated by just enough buttery charm to keep it interesting.

(That buttery quality was the result of diacetyl, a compound that arises during fermentation and, in very limited amounts, can be quite pleasant in the right sort of beer. It was a notable part of the Smithwick’s flavour profile until someone at Diageo decided the brand needed to be cleaned up if it was going to be more successful and eliminated it.)

Today’s Smithwick’s has a amber-red countenance and a pleasantly sweet, caramelly aroma carrying notes of dry plum, a hint of black cherry, and a whiff of wild flowers. On the palate, however, all of that malty promise quickly evaporates, with the lightest touch of toffee flavours up front segueing into a thin, vaguely raisiny, and unpleasantly earthy mid-palate followed by a finish that’s very dry, very fast, and very forgettable. Plug your nose to remove the retro-olfactory effect and you might as well be drinking a Molson Export with a little more mouthfeel and much less hoppiness.

If you’re looking for a beer other than stout to drink this St. Patrick’s Day, my advice to you is to keep looking.

64 ($3.35 - $4/500 ml)