And While You’re At It, Go Ahead and Cook Your Own Food, Too!

There are things in this life I don’t understand, like pedestrians so fixated on their Blackberrys that they walk into lampposts, cyclists who are loathe to actually let their feet hit the ground at a red light and motorists who feel the need to speed at 100 kph to the next red light.

And pouring your own beer at a bar.

I received a press release yesterday touting something called The Draft Master, a new tabletop draught dispenser the manufacturer would have you think is sweeping Ireland. Billed as “a new concept that gives consumers the freedom to pour draft beer at their own table,” it was evidently launched in Eire in co-operation with Diageo and now has “master prototypes” up and running in Canada and the United States.

So you can pour your own beer and pay for it. Yippee!

I don’t know about you, but when I go to a bar and pay more for beer than I would at home, one of the things I’m paying for is service, which includes someone telling me about what’s available on tap, offering me a bottle selection or choice of wine, spirits and cocktails if desired, and POURING THE FRICKING THING FOR ME! Or in other words, why the heck would I want to pay money to do someone else’s job for them?

I’m reminded of the comment Clover Club owner and cocktail magician Julie Reiner made to me when we were discussing bottle service in bars. “If I want to make my own drinks,” she said, “I’ll just stay home.”

Ditto for pouring my own beer.

4 Replies to “And While You’re At It, Go Ahead and Cook Your Own Food, Too!”

  1. Well, to be fair, the standards of service for bottle beers here (Switzerland) being what they are, i.e. often poor, even if the beer range is great, I sometimes do insist on pouring the beer myself, especially bottle-conditioned stuff if I feel I don’t want the yeast to go in…

    Yet indeed the “tap at your table” trick is another story. Not only do you cut down on service, but you certainly increase the average quantity consumed.

    Cheers !

  2. I doubt the target demographic of this product would mind the non-service from the wait staff. Especially if they are constantly “queuing at the bar/spilling drinks on the way back/missing out on stories.”

    And let’s face it – if I can’t have the “best seat in the house/perfect view of the big screen” why would I even bother going out?!

    I wonder how the billing for this works? By the ml? L? Pint? However it works I bet they round it up to the next unit.

    The extra super mega premium version negates glassware completely and puts your custom straw into the keg of your choosing! Catheter extra, so you don’t miss out on those stories.

    1. And let’s not forget what happens when a keg unexpectedly gets foamy, as they do on occasion. Will the customer be on the hook for the wasted beer? My guess is yes…

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